Thursday, July 21, 2011

they call me mojo.

gangs are hard core.
22 mile moonlight bike rides with real live biting hair bugs are hard core.
red hair is hard core.
tie those things together and you get my bike gang.
we're hard core.
if you or someone you know would like to be hard core
get off the computer, go into your garage, get your bike, dust it off, and train with these guidelines.
MUSTs
  • be able to ride with sass.  meaning ride with your hands on your hips because that is the definition of sass.
  • do a wheelie.  because someone in the gang should know how in order to be legit.
  • watch this video and adopt this attitude.
  • despise cars.  the antibike.  bike everywhere. 
  • pass hazing initiation rituals that will be left up to the founders.
MUSTN'Ts
  • insist on wearing helmets.  even if your dad tricks you into it.
  • cry when the gang gets too hard core.  in fact you should never cry because gangsters don't cry.  unless they see a bike get destroyed on purpose.  that is messed up.
  • refuse a nickname.  i am mojo.  rightfully so.  
  • diss the theme song of the gang.
  • fall off of your bike unless you are a) telling a story or b)adding dramatic effect to a situation.
when you are man enough to run it
call me.

2 comments:

RochelleHaddad said...

Let me join your gang, yo!

Cassie said...

this is the funniest thing i have been exposed to all summer. and thats sayin something since i found igun rampage on youtube.