communication.

i think my subconscious is trying to tell me something. i have picked up a napping habit. while i sleep, i have the greatest adventures, mostly terrifying, but still great. all of these things happened to me via dream in the past 24 hours...

• my dad and i went to disneyland. just us. well, my mom was there but said that her ideal vacation was sleeping (i should've known then that it was all a dream).
• dad had to go to the bathroom. he took so long that disneyland closed and i was so excited to sleep in the happiest place on earth.
• my dreams came crashing down when i realized that disney is one step ahead of people like me who has a weird obsession with accidentally getting locked in malls, resorts, and grocery stores overnight. apparently disneyland sends out ravenous monster dogs to hunt down the nightly intruders. we were caught and i was mega-bummed.
• it was summer. but there was a major snowstorm. i worked for my uncle tony, who in dreamland is a crazy, hitler-esque boss figure that allows no time for weakness. 
• i almost died driving to their house in the storm. in fact, there was a time in my dream reality that i accepted the fact that i was going to die and i left my car slip and slide all over, until i shook myself from that and decided to LIVE! (i believe that was inspired by gravity...remember? when she gives up then snaps out of it so she can continue to destroy just about every man made thing in space?)
• when i made it to their house, scary, nazi camp, boss version of uncle tony was leaving for the beach (the beach? yeah.) with his family and i was supposed to stay behind and get all cinderella (the maid kind, not the princess kind) up in their house. 

should i be taking more risks? having more fun? or will my dreams fill that level of life enough? don't know. but i will keep up the naps then let you know.

my captain phillips experience.

because my favorite holiday is just around the corner (oscar sunday), i thought i had better get festive and talk about some of this year's nominees. you should know and you will plainly see, however, that i am not as well-versed in this year's hits. i spent the majority of this movie season laying out plan of salvation diagrams and asking complete strangers if they want to stop smoking instead of jamming to 70s hits along with j-law or crying my way through another tale of slavery, like i would normally be doing. today we will discuss the nautical tale of captain phillips.

i will begin by asking you this? have you seen a movie in the "d-box"? i didn't know what that was a few weeks ago. i though it was a new kfc meal deal or something. have you seen the "honey i shrunk the kids" hit 4d movie from the 90s version of disneyland? or the 2000s version of it--"the bug's life" one? where it feels like you are part of the movie? it's nice. being part of something bigger than you, ya know? i had that experience, except i didn't have to pay extra. it came with the decision of sitting next to courtney.

courtney is to...

as i...

am to captain p.

i got to feel what captain phillips felt like while trapped in a boat with somali pirates. you know that part where they yell at him? been there. remember that part where he is dying of thirst? done that. i mean, i was trapped in a dark theater, without access to the communal diet coke, with courtney yelling things like...

"why haven't they rescued him yet?!"

"this would never happen like this!"

"i am so angry!"

"this is the longest movie ever!"and

"ii soo bax halkan"

needless to say, it isn't courtney's pick for best picture. and i have some ptsd breathing techniques to go over. until next time.

6 things my new hat is doing to me.

1. it sucks any and every desire to shower right outta my body. like, my hair has never been so greasy. but HEY it covers the grease and lets the straggly ends hang out in all of its hippie glory.
2. the green really brings out the red in my eyes. 
3. it is a cap of heat. i haven't worn a coat in days, guys. 
4. other hippies wave and give me peace signs as i move pass them.
5. i feel smarter. i am smarter.
6. i save money. it was $2 at shawn's market in the classiest of towns, lava hot springs (fun fact: that is the name of the town, not just the springs that are hot). i stumbled upon it whilst searching for ear plugs, which they also carry for a steal of a deal. i joked about it then threw it in mom's cart. best $2 ever spent.

i'm back.

well, i have been back for a handful of moments. but i am just now telling you

this is what you need to know about paige 2.0...

1. did you know that snoop discovered that dogs aren't his spirit animal, but lions are. so he goes by snoop lion. and snoop lion, i have recently discovered, is my spirit animal. 
2. as everyone guessed it, i have become a bit of a pizza/pasta snob. 
3. salt lake city is still as great as ever. sometimes i miss italy so much that it hurts but then i look at the mountains, the smog, the buildings, the people, and say "okay, yeah, it is good here too."
4. 3 literature classes may have been a bit heavy, but you know what isn't...my new best friend (everyone else is married.) mac book air is anything but heavy. 
5. the week i convinced every male i know to grow a beard turned into the best week of my returned missionary life. 
6. i finally saw batman. fun fact: i entered the mtc the week before the dark knight rises hit theaters (though i seriously considered putting my availability for after the event) so i bribed every new missionary to tell me everything. nobody would, claiming it wouldn't set the right mtc kind of tone (i beg to differ). finally someone told me everything and became my favorite person in this world. ever since, i have had a hard time thinking about anything but wwbd (what would batman do).
7. i work as a high school librarian (i am currently here and listening to a teacher whisper yell at his students as he eats a hostess treat and abuses the use of the thumbs up) and for a magazine (not as cool as it sounds, but i try to slip it into every conversation just cuz), interviewing millionaires and drool over their interior design.
8. my mom has gotten significantly more techno-savvy. she is teaching me a lot.
9. my culture class for recently returned missionaries is going well. i have learned about the following: the meaning of "turnt", the art of snapchat (it is still scary to me), the enchanting sounds of lorde and other musical royalty, the goodness that is free spotify (but if i have to hear one more h&r block ad i may never pay taxes again), and how parents took over facebook (making it totally OUT) and they now have their eyes on instagram (which became a THING while i was away).
10. i have begun an "as heard at uvu" quote book that will surely bring smiles to the saddest of faces. 

bye.

bye.

{how to not forget about me here.}

ten secret secrets about disneyland.

i am a disney expert. and i have the picture above to prove it. so i am going to let you in on some disney secrets that i observed throughout our 2012 express summer trip to the west coast.

1. kitties are released to roam the park once the gates have closed for the day. they eat all of the mice and garbage and stuff then are herded back into their little mini disneyland for the day once the park opens. rumor has it they are kept in the matterhorn by day.
2. speaking of the matterhorn, inside the tip of the replicated mountain is a small apartment complex for workers that are working long shifts or are in charge of keeping watch over the kitties that night. a basketball court, olympic sized pool, and even a sauna are all amenities of the matterhorn complex. 
3. pirates of the caribbean {the ride} was an audition spot for hopeful actors trying out for a role in pirates of the caribbean {the movie}. though riders just assumed everything was animatronic, like usual, they were wrong. the actors would step in for one of the robots, producers would ride the ride and tried to pick out actors from robots. those that blended in were cast and those that stood out were punished by being forced to ride it's a small world all day long.
4. speaking of olympic, the national olympic committee has disneyland in mind for the 2040 summer olympic games. the resort would be the first amusement park to host the olympic games, something committee members are leaning towards for upcoming world-wide events.
5. disneyland only hires females for the mickey character to wander around the park because walt believed that mickey have a feminine figure. 
6. it is believed that a homeless man decided to make the magic kingdom home. after years of collecting, he had uh...raised...enough money to buy himself a ticket into the park for the day...which, due to his skillful planning and ninja like techniques, ended up being a ticket for a 6 week stay inside the park. he was eventually caught by an employee as he bathed in splash mountain. want to know how he did it? too bad. the execs at disney were so impressed by his accomplishment, they decided to hire the man as head of security, under the condition that he never told his secrets.
7. contrary to popular belief, disney stars are actually charged three times the park fee for their entrance into the parks to cover security costs and to discourage their attendance, fearing their popularity might over shine that of mickey and minnie mouse, the true stars of disney.
8. all of that "underground disney" is 100% true. common knowledge. what isn't common knowledge though is that underground tunnel from walt disney's home in burbank, california to the park. walt wanted to be able to access the park with ease, and avoid lines, traffic, and crazy fans. the 36 mile tunnel is still accessible by walt's immediate family.
9. walt disney's ashes are spread throughout the haunted mansion because he insisted on being a part of the magic even beyond the grave.
10. the spacial relationship of the rides throughout the park have been planned out so that the music or screams from one ride will not be heard from another. however, the women's bathroom in the blue bayou is infamous for hearing screams. either from walt's ashes or from the riders on the first drop in pirates of the caribbean...you decide.

raise your hands if you are ready for another trip to visit mickey and friends...

i haven't left yet.

did you think that i already left for my mission? i haven't. just lazy i guess. but i'm back baby and ready to blog blog blog until you are so sick of me and want an eighteen month break. here is what you need to know since i am been so mia lately...

• i finished school! for now. it is so great i can't even stand it. 
• i moved home. it is so great i can't even stand it.
• i eat, breathe, sleep italy nowadays and so does the rest of my family. seriously. we've covered the house with italian words for everything on sticky notes and i can't remember ever saying or hearing  "hello" or "goodbye" from my family members. we are anti-english greeters now...also "ciao" is the only word we really have down so far.
• courtney has put together a really impressive little ditty called la dolce vita which will soon become your most visited site ever...my mission blog. it's is sweet and well under way so ch-ch-ch-check it out.
• cassie moved to ghana. so we had a final tbf party and parted ways. keep up with her cool new summer life here. and that is all i feel like saying about that because i want to cry every time i think about it.
• my days consist of accomplishing my mom's wild lists. she is a monster. if anyone wants to learn how not to be a lazy person...spend one second with my mom. she is go go go all....day....long. killer. i have to go to bed at like 8 to be well rested enough for the next day. 
• i have funny things to tell you so don't give up on me just yet. come back. i will try to make you laugh or something.

called to serve.

italy rome mission!

and because i already like pizza

i already like italy.

courtney and the camera.

it's over.

i finished my lent.

and got so sick that i may never eat ever again.

lent: how to learn how awful things really are.