my captain phillips experience.

because my favorite holiday is just around the corner (oscar sunday), i thought i had better get festive and talk about some of this year's nominees. you should know and you will plainly see, however, that i am not as well-versed in this year's hits. i spent the majority of this movie season laying out plan of salvation diagrams and asking complete strangers if they want to stop smoking instead of jamming to 70s hits along with j-law or crying my way through another tale of slavery, like i would normally be doing. today we will discuss the nautical tale of captain phillips.

i will begin by asking you this? have you seen a movie in the "d-box"? i didn't know what that was a few weeks ago. i though it was a new kfc meal deal or something. have you seen the "honey i shrunk the kids" hit 4d movie from the 90s version of disneyland? or the 2000s version of it--"the bug's life" one? where it feels like you are part of the movie? it's nice. being part of something bigger than you, ya know? i had that experience, except i didn't have to pay extra. it came with the decision of sitting next to courtney.

courtney is to...

as i...

am to captain p.

i got to feel what captain phillips felt like while trapped in a boat with somali pirates. you know that part where they yell at him? been there. remember that part where he is dying of thirst? done that. i mean, i was trapped in a dark theater, without access to the communal diet coke, with courtney yelling things like...

"why haven't they rescued him yet?!"

"this would never happen like this!"

"i am so angry!"

"this is the longest movie ever!"and

"ii soo bax halkan"

needless to say, it isn't courtney's pick for best picture. and i have some ptsd breathing techniques to go over. until next time.