thanks a lot.

{me and some babies.  one of which in greater detail below.}

i have to tell you a funny little thing.  one time i was babysitting an adorable little girl.  she went to my day care.  she still calls me miss paige.  it's nice.  we were having dinner and she insisted on blessing the food.  it's important to interrupt my thought right here and tell you that 3 year olds are almost perfect in every way, but their one flaw that keeps them human is their comedic timing.  most of the jokes i heard at the daycare in the summer...i heard them at least 4 gajillion times.  but i laughed every time because the jokes are still funny.  anyway.  she "blessed the food" by thanking jesus for every single thing she could think of...peas, hair, windows, swings, summer, chairs, plates, feet, princesses, crayons, school, miss paige {<3}, and the list goes on {seriously for like 20 minutes more}.  she ends the prayer with "and thanks for nothin'!  amen."  she didn't mean it.  but "thanks for nothin'" was a summer day care go to joke.

but, as always, those little monsters inspired me to be more grateful.  and gratefulness brings happiness.  so imma tell you something that i am grateful for every day this week...for no reason in particular...not because of thanksgiving or anything it's just a random thought that i thought that i would have.

today i am thankful for...
the 2011 east coast extravaganza with the greatest family in the world!
i am grateful that we...

• saw 2 broadway plays.
• met fellow courtney admirers. 
• found alice.
• saw lincoln and stood where king told us his dream.
• ate a real philly cheesesteak.
• looked at the liberty bell behind glass.  but honestly only thought about this...

• sang "good morning, baltimore" in the morning.  in baltimore.
• touched the berlin wall.  
• saw obama's house.
• ate at big nicks.
• reenacted you've got mail.
• basically, in a nutshell, i had the world's greatest vacation this year.  

thank you east coast.

p.s. i miss you.

mr. motto roboto.

motto:

"never let the truth get in the way of a good story."

-mark twain

and 

me

too true.

my life be like...

a ferris wheel.

with ups and down and inbetweens.

up:  i am getting a fantastic education.

down:  i have some allergy to math ever since ms. jameson's eight grade algebra class.

up:  i have the world's greatest family.

down:  the family member whom i need the most {sorry mom and dad...but i mean courtney} is too far away to lean on.

up:  i've met so many gems that have been just what i've needed.

down:  one of these people may or may not have given me pneumonia.

but i'm still living my life like my girl marjorie says to.  and i am choosing to laugh instead of cry.  i am choosing to be happy.  because happy is good, isn't it?  i think yes! 

up:  i discovered this girl via pandora.
up:  fall break was so great!  i love my parents and our {borderline unhealthy} obsession with movies.
up:  i am a daughter of god and he never let's me forget it, even if i have a ferris wheel kind of life.

"this is me, sprinting."

{the only proof that sister wightman remains the courtney we all know and love...her all things asain lifestyle.}

"i had this awesome dream ...
so this was on the morning of my year mark ... i was running in the city, exercising in the morning. and i knew that this dream was an analogy for my mission, but i was just running. it was the first day of this transfer and i started running really fast and hard. i hit some speed bumps that i was nervous about approaching, because i was running really fast i and i didn't want to trip, but i run over them. i had some barriers, like people, and road blocks, so i had to jump over things and run around people. but i just remember sprinting and feeling so great and not tired, just happy. WHAT A GREAT DREAM!!! isn't it? so my goal for this transfer and the transfers to come is the SPRINT to the end. i'm excited.
best dream of my life. just runnin'."
 
...did you think that you accidentally switched over to lds.org and started reading past conference talks or something?  well you didn't.  you just read words from my inspiring, spiritual, amazing sister who is sprinting towards the end of this journey.  end=150 days from today.  i'd better finish up those welcome home banners that i have been working on since september of last year.  march will be here before we know it!  love her.

father of mine.

when i think of the words
"cool"

"smart"

or "hilarious"

i envision my dad.  he is all of those things, on steroids.  he tries to teach me how to be all of those things like him but, sadly,  i am not.  i could never be as awesome as he is.  i try way super hard though.  on sunday, after we ate a large dinner, he said something that made me fall more in love with him than ever:

"i feel as full as the thanksgiving of 1966. 

i sat in the back of my sister's car with all the leftover

pumpkin pies and was convinced i was going to die."

and, like all of his stories, he finished with a fact of some kind.

the fact he shared with us that evening was...

"l.b.j was the president."

i don't quite know why president johnson had any significance whatsoever with the pumpkin pie, stuffed full, thanksgiving story, but he was right and i can always use a little trivia.  and if you were wondering, yes, he is in fact crazy good at trivial pursuit and every other game, for that matter.

{me and dad, with our weekend mustaches.}

8 down. 10 more.

oh i love this countdown.

but 10 months is still painfully long for me.

but

sister wightman emailed us today

{just like every other wednesday}

and it was another hit.

she was born to go on a mission

and write letters and emails.

she is super good at all of this.

and if i ever decide to follow in her footsteps

and serve a mission

i had better fine tune my writing and humor skills

so i can be as entertaining as her.

fyi:

sister ellsworth is c's new companion

{and apparently she is super awesome.}

"um .... i love sister ellsworth so much. she is marvelous. she has compared me to the following items: a} a ray of sunshine and b} the brave little toaster. ha ha. oh man. i was thinking "who does this girl remind me of?" an it has come to me ... she reminds me of paige. and that is the utmost compliment because paige is my favorite person. she delivers her jokes like you paiger and she's creative like you and i love her ... not as much as you, but still ... she's good."

i love that.

cushion my callous sighs.

i'm always assuming the worst,
but you're going on nonetheless
and there's nothing to cushion your heart led fall.
letters from further away
keep pulling me close to home.
and there's something to cushion my callous sighs.
and I know that you hope for
longer good-byes
embracing for forever
and falling in your eyes.
pouring over photographs.
i'm living in your letters.
breathe deeply from this envelope
it smells like you and I can't be
without that scent. It's filling me
with all you mean to me.
continually failing these trials
but you stand by me nonetheless
and you won't let me sink
though I'm beggin you, I'm begging you
phone calls from further away
and messages on my machine,
but I don't ever tell you this distance
seems terrible.
there is no need to test my heart,
with useless space.
these roads go on forever,
there will always be a place, for you.. in my heart
so I'll hit the pavement
it's gotta be better than waiting
and pushing you far away
cause I'm scared.
so I'll take my chances
and head on my way up there.
'cause turning to you is like falling in love when you're ten.

.dashboard.

note to self.

self,

please remember to add

"own a wicked awesome bookstore"

to your list of things

to do before you die.

love you,

paige.

a mad, crazy, wonderful dream.

alice,

you are the star in my new favorite movie.

thank you for being so beautiful.

love,

paige

action words.

that's it.
i love elementary school.
i truly think being an elementary school teacher will be
thee funniest job ever.
{being on seinfeld is a close second.}
i finished observing classes yesterday
and i wanted to cry.
i love those crazy kids.
listen to what i overheard while minding my own business in the back of the class...

conversation #1.
teacher:  the ballet will be here on friday for the assembly so stop complaining about how boring it is going to be.
class:  boo!
teacher:  my sixth grade class loved the ballet.
class: ...oh.  maybe it won't be that bad.
favorite boy in the class (fbic):  of course it won't be bad.  ballet is AWESOME!  trust me, i used to take it.
girl:  YOU took ballet??!!  are you a girl?
class:  {laughs uproariously}
fbic:  {leans to me and whispers} they laugh now but what they don't know is that ballet made me really rock at all my soccer techniques.
me:  {nods and holds up my hand for a high five.}

how cool is he?

conversation #2.

teacher:  tell me some action words.

class:  {loudly, all at once, yell} skip, jump, play...

fbic:  {peacefully raises his hand and patiently waits for the teacher to call on him}  assassinate.

teacher:  {awkwardly trying to move on} uh...yeah...anyone else?

second favorite kid on class:  is mustard an action word?

i'm not sure how well he understands verbs yet.

conversation situation #3.

a scored a phone number

from a fourth grader.

twice.

jealous?

i am in for a future full of laughter!

i wish i was bulimic.

wait...what?!

guess this movie...

matilda:  i became...

hansel:  what?

matilda:  bulimic.

derek:  you can read minds?

if you guessed this

you're right.

now do you see

where i'm going with this?

like previously mention, the uvu shuttle is a magnificent mode of transportation.  but today's adventure on the mean green mobile wasn't heard or seen.  no no.  i believe the true adventure was going on inside the heads of the riders.  but, since i am not bulimic, i could only watch their mind adventures by their facial expressions.

i wish i knew...

• 
  
  why cap {afternoon's version of shades} listens to bird sounds while speeding around the shuttle stops.
• 
  
  why the girl in red glasses was smiling the entire ride.  i think the big shiny diamond that she couldn't take her eyes off of might have something to do with it.
• 
  
  what the shuttle riders thought of me when i wasn't wearing a coat today {fyi:  i am still not wearing a coat to spite mother nature}during a sudden snow storm.
• 
  
  what mother nature was thinking when she took vengeance on the county of utah after tricking us all into believing that my anti-coat stand was really working.

but these are only wishes.  at least until the day when i become a bulimic that is...

p.s.  please don't think i am bulimic.

or was bulimic.

or support bulimia whatsoever

{who supports bulimia?}

because i think we are beautiful.

aren't we?

the best i can be.

it's sunday.
i am working
while everyone else i know is at church.
they get blessings
while i get money.
but what do you get, my lovely little blogging buddies?
you get this beautiful quote i found in her book by this amazing man.

"all of us have problems.  we face them everyday. 

how grateful i am that we have difficult things to wrestle with. 

they keep us young, if that is possible. 

they keep us alive. 

they keep us going. 

they keep us humble. 

they pull us down to our knees to ask God of heaven for help in solving them. 

be grateful for your problems,

 and know that somehow there will come a solution. 

just do the best you can,

but be sure it is the very best. 

then leave it in the hands of the Lord."

so even though

i hate math

and i miss my sister

and i get homesick

and all i want to do is be sad sometimes

and i don't get straight a's

and i have to work on sundays sometimes

or late at night

i am grateful for these difficulties.

i am grateful that i can go to school.

i am grateful to receive the blessings

of having a missionary out.

i am grateful that i love my family so much

 and love to come home.

i am grateful for my health and the life i have.

i am grateful that i fail sometimes

because i've learned to get up and try again.

i am grateful to have a job

and be able to somewhat support myself.

i am grateful for my problems.

and i am grateful for you, my little lovelies.

little crazy children.

when i grown up i want to be an english teacher. 
but that is my newest dream.
my old one, the one that made me declare my major,
was an elementary teacher.
big difference.
but since currently my major is elementary education
i am taking elementary education classes
including field work.
so every other day i head over to this little elementary
and sit in the back of a second grade class
and laugh my head off.
at sillies like this...

teacher:  class this is paige.  she is doing her field work here so let's show her that we are the best second grade class!
kid in class: wait a second...did you say field trip?!  we're going on a field trip!
teacher:  well, no, we aren't going on a field trip.  paige is here on a field trip!
kid in class:  what a boring field trip...
 
little girl:  hey.  what's your favorite color?
me:  i like yellow.
little girl:  want to know mine?
me:  yes, please.
little girl:  well i don't like talking about it at school...
me:  why?  is it red?  like utah?  if so i wouldn't like to talk about it either {just kidding.  i said nothing to that.  but i wanted to.}
little girl:  my favorite color is brownish green.

boy 1:  teacher! {they call me that for short i guess}  he said i was in love with this girl!
me:  well, are you? 
boy 2:  oh my gosh YES!  all he does is stare at her.
me:  sounds like someone is in love.  {then i high fived boy 2}.
boy 1:  i am NOT in love.  i am in HATE!

shoot.

i kinda like elementary.

it's fun!

quotable.

i have a quote book.

it's my pride and joy.

natalie makes frequent appearances.

so does courtney.

here are the most recent additions...

"some girl falls in love with a vampire.  and they play baseball."

dad  

(when i asked what he remembered about twilight.)

"do you ever have textural nightmares?  i do."

mom

 (she really hates velvet.)

"i already know how.  happy hanukkah."

natalie

 (after i asked her if she wanted to learn how to say "merry christmas" in french.)

thank you quote book.

you are the love of my life.

no news is bad news. false.

5 bands.
3 words.
1 e-mail.

that's all it took. 
to completely ruin my week.

not long ago, while visiting here with bfsp, i decided to buy some tickets.  not just any ticket, but a

dashboard concert ticket!

november 11th was the day.  5:30 p.m. was the time.  bfsp's 19th birthday was the celebration.  i couldn't have been more pleased with the purchase. 

my countdown to this long awaited date began.

fast forward to last night. 

10 days to go!
i returned home from work early, much to my satisfaction, and headed straight to my gmail account.  a few e-mails from mom, one from some clothing place, and a message from smith tix. 

"Oh goodie!"

i cheered.

{thinking smith tix was just giving me a little reminder

the wait was about to be over

for my favorite band to

visit me and bfsp

in the o.c.(orem city) at my very own school}

...i was dead wrong.

instead, smith tix was telling me the 3 words i dreaded the most:

dashboard

concert

cancelled

that's all.  nothing to cushion the blow.  nothing to explain why.  nothing to keep my spirits up.  just 3 words.

i was in shock.  bfsp confirmed it {i thought maybe i was having a nightmare, so i had to get a second opinion}.

terrible way to start the week.  the week that was ruined by one e-mail.

...but i had no idea what was in store for the coming 24 hours.

this morning i went to class with one thing on my mind...no more dashboard.  i had that thought until i remembered that i had a math test...and classes to register for...and work...and life in general that took more importance.  long story short...first week in november has already turned against me. 

until...

i remembered a great quote that  i found on this beauteous, bewitching, brilliant blog once upon a time.  it says:

"the only way to get through life is to

laugh your way through it.

you either have to

laugh

or

cry.

i prefer to laugh.

crying gives me a headache."

majorie pay hinckley.

so i am going to laugh.  even when i want to cry.

sheri dew...you doll you.

i have one sister.  she has one hate.  that one hate is reading.  so you can understand why it took me by surprise when she suggested, long ago, before she left me here to rot, that i read no doubt about it by the one and only, sheri dew.  i decided last night that i would take my sister up on that offer.  and i am so happy that i did.  every sentence is quote book worthy.  she is so eloquent and talented.  she shares a quote that i just adore:

you are good.

but it is not enough just to be good.

you must be good for something.

you must contribute good to the world.

the world must be a better place for your presence.

and that good that is in you

must be spread to others

-gordon b. hinckley

i want to be good for something.  i want my good to rub off of me and onto my surroundings.  just like my sister wightman is doing in the district of columbia.

thanks sheri for this gem.

and thanks courtney for living her words.

"movement never lies"

dance first.  think later. it's the natural order.

-samuel beckett

17 months to go.

i don't know if this is legal or ethical or right at all

but i absolutely love this book.

and i want to give all of the credit to this book as i can.

anyways.

my sister, sister wightman, has been gone

on a mission

for one whole month today.

and i miss her.

lots.

so when i was in st. george,

wandering around a book store

i found this beautiful gem

by simms taback

called "i miss you everyday"

which i am going to quote from now.

"when you miss someone you love so much--there's only one thing to do:  wrap yourself up, jump in a box, and send yourself for a visit...

please unwrap me from the paper 

i missed you everyday

give me a bath and feed me supper

give me candy so i'll stay

tuck me in and read a story

                                                and everything will be ok "

  that alone makes me tear up a little.  i miss her.     everyday.  but i wouldn't have it any other way.  {hmmm...maybe i'll write a poem too} i am so proud of her and her decision to sacrifice 18 months of her life and serve the Lord, but what a wonderful sacrifice it is.  washington d.c. is so    lucky to have her.  i love you sister wightman!

 *all of my love my dearest friend and sister

always remember that we're never far apart

"i carry your heart, i carry it in my heart"