appointed watcher of tests aka me.

i like my job.  i like that my shift is really funny and that we are so good at our job and that we practice fire drills and are prepared for the worst of the worst, thanks to the fire drill that took place monday, freaking everyone else who wasn't in on it out. one thing that i used to struggle with in my job was proctoring.

proc.tor

[prok-ter]

-noun

a person appointed to keep watch over students at examinations.

at first, i had a really hard time staying alert and keeping a proper proctoring eye on these sneaky little cheaters.  i just had to find a way to entertain myself.  and here is how i did it...

• celebrity lookalike

you all played this a while ago when facebook commanded us to change our profile pictures to a picture of our celebrity lookalike.  except i am more brutal with my matching.  i am not afraid to tell a student {completely inside my head, of course...which is most likely explains my confidence} that they look like mickey rourke or tilda swinton.  you would be suprised how many steve buscemi lookalikes are lurking about.

• match maker

first i check their ring finger.  adultery is not acceptable, no not even in my little game inside my head that i play silently and alone while proctoring.  only singles, or weird married people who don't wear their wedding rings, get to be matched up.  sometimes, only if they match someone so perfectly that i almost consider telling them to make it happen in reality, i plan their wedding.  i'll imagine the bride on say yes to the dress and i will pick the perfect color scheme for the groomsmen.  and when i get trapped inside the testing room because one of the other employees is either trying to get back at me for something or they forgot i was in there {you would be surprised how often these things happen...to me} i will even go on to picture what their children will look like.  i am getting really talented at these things.  and i might maybe may have shared just a tid bit more information about myself than absolutely necessary.

• hair

if it is a really slow day with unique, non celebrity lookalike students and no possible matches to make, i resort to this.  i ask myself "what if the latino guy in desk 201 traded hair dos with the ginger girl in desk 224?"  it is slightly humorous.  but then again, what isn't when you are trapped in a white wall room that is dead silent and nobody is there to talk to at 8 in the morning.  for me, most things are humorous in said situations.

fyi: now that i am almost NOT a teenager anymore

i have given up all game playing and

have put that energy towards

catching cheaters and other sinners.

kinda like cops and robbers...