lava horror picture show.

there are 2 questions in life that i just simply cannot answer.  yes, only 2.  those questions are...

1. why aren't there more horror movies about the salem witch trials?
2. why aren't there any horror movies about lava hot springs, idaho?

i'll get to #1 someday, but my focus right now is on #2, seeing that i was just there for the annual wightman getaway.  for those who have experienced the wonder that is lava hot springs can attest but for those who have not found one minute in their lives for this trip, here are my top 10 {actually 8..because that is all i could come up with...but 10 is a better number when it comes to lists so...}reasons why lava hot springs is a perfect candidate for the next classic horror film.

1. LAVA hot springs.  lava= hot.  hot=hell.  hell=scary.
2. lava HOT springs.  synonym for hot=attractive.  attractive=beyonce.  beyonce=illuminati.  illuminati=satan.  satan= hell.  and as you already know, hell=scary.
3. steam.  hot pools+cold air=steam.
4. cold.  okay this contradicts reasons 1 and 2 but as all horror movie buffs already know horror and contradictions go hand in hand.  prime example:  the orphanage.  tell me, why should a woman run an orphanage for children with special needs when she can't even keep track of her own kid?  contradiction.  anyway it is really chilly in lava hot springs {maybe because i have only gone there in the dead of winter but whatev} and cold=ghosts.  ghosts=scary.
5. location.  there would be no need for set design.  there are cliffs and a train track nearby.  random hotels that have been there since the beginning of time. steam {so no need for a fog machine} and a creepy bridge.  all kinds of naturally frightening elements.
6. residents.  there is no need to hire extras for a lava horror movie since the town is crawling with winners already.  especially the owner of the breakfast place {that us wightmans hit up yearly by tradition on our lava getaway} that got into a heated argument/boarder line knife fight with the man delivering uniforms for his workers.  i never knew anyone could be so passionate about uniforms.
7. it's in idaho.  nothing good happens there. 
8. this one is far fetched but that is how the end of all of my lists are.  everyone there is in swimsuits.  including women.  and if low budget horror films love anything it is gore mixed with women in a small amount of clothing. hello...piranha 3D??

so any film makers want to join me?  i thought of some great script ideas over the long weekend.

and here is me in lava hot springs...before it gets famous.

{scary, right??}