when i can say "i'm not a woman, i'm a mom!"

note to self,
when impregnated with what will be the cutest nugget of joy that the world will ever see, please remember to...
a} make a baby library baby shower.  so wise.  so rockstar.
b} make a mobile of math formulas and the quadratic equation...advice that my math teacher gave the class yesterday.
c} always make your baby wear hats and glasses and other accessories so they will learn to love them early...advice from ben, some kind of self proclaimed baby expert.
d} pretend you are still a teenager and be on teen mom because e! news taught me last night that those mamas make bank.
e} never ever ever take pregnancy photos or paint the baby bump. it's never okay.  never!  don't do it.  trust me, the baby will be so much cuter when it is outside of my belly.  until then, keep her covered.  please.